Friday, July 17, 2015

The Ups & Downs of The Seeker

A woman came into my shop and mentioned I haven't been updating my blog lately.  I want to thank her for motivating me.

New Orleans was magical, mystical and no less than prolific.  I know, everyone wanted to know about the trip, but I shut down in the process of uncovering.  Hear me out.

I didn't want to give away it's magic. No words would have or could have done it justice.
And as soon as the plane landed and I washed the cajun off me, I emersed myself in the Oneness University's Sacred Chambers Process.
This time I did it twice in one weekend.  It will be my third time since March. For a total of 16 hours I prayed, meditated, peeled back onion layers that were blocking me from abundance.
Seeking is easy.  I love learning as much as I can about well, everything.
Coming back to reality this time, was hard.  I didn't want to.  I wanted to keep going.  Some of the things I came back to are worth a bit of an eye roll.

But now that reality has forced itself back in, I've wiggled and wrangled through most of it's uncomfortableness.  Navigating the day to day feels a little like floating and somewhat like pushing through degrees of unnecessary bull$*@.
I love my clients, my work and being of service 
but trite things like social media and blogging feel gross but daily rituals; meditation, prayer and physical exercise have keep me connected to the sacredness.
Love, keeps me grounded when I want to float away hearing people say they can see my third eye or that I'm glowing in transformation.
I am.
It's amazing.  I've not only shed some unseen baggage, I've lost quite a bit of weight too.
A lot of this journey - hurt. Physically, emotionally and spiritually.  Challenges came out of the woodwork.  I was shown hurtful, hateful things that people I once truly loved campaigned hatelfully regarding my trip or success via social media.  Immediately, my feet & knee inflamed.
Blocks that I was unaware of in my ancestral line emerged. My heart hurt.
Admitting glitches within my own system was a tough but completely necessary gig.
Owning my part in all of the madness however, was the greatest, unexpected lesson I could have bestowed.

When you seek, you never really know what it is that you will find.  That's the whole point really.  Witnessing cool or magical things is a superficial approach to any spiritual journey.
Openness to deeper connection to Source is a more authentic motivation.
Being present to the side effects or lessons really is the honest work.  The soul crushing, life altering transformative work.
Nothing, in essence is without some cost.
I wouldn't trade this knowledge or experience for the world.  In fact, I am excited to go deeper.  Doors are opening for me that I didn't know existed.
This time, I just wish to keep what I'm up to closer to my breast as part of the lessons learned.
So don't take offense to my lack of word magic.   I thank you all truly for sticking with me on this quest. To receive such love from strangers reminds me that the Universe supporting me in so many ways - not just in facebook 'likes'.

If you take away anything from this, learn as much as you can about you, your personal truths, values.  
This is the key to uncovering your souls worth , and your work here.

Finally, a dear friend of mine reminded me that hurt people, HURT people.  With this, I encourage all of you for one second to stop fuming over "who" and "what's been done" to you and ask yourself - where and how have You hurt others? I bet if you contemplate you may realize the playing field in this ballgame is often uneven.  When we go in and touch upon all of the hearts we broke along the way, suddenly the people who hurt us become a little less vicious.  I uncovered this when I was hurting during my seeking and was asked to turned the tables - on myself. Wow.
When projection turns into introspection the whole mess of things comes clean. 

Your's in light - always - 

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