When I couldn't walk in January, I panicked...on the inside. The clock had just turned 2105. The fact that I'm turning forty this year screamed in horror all over me, primarily in my feet.
This can't be happening. I repeated over and over. I didn't want to cry in front of my daughter or boyfriend.
The usual 'who am I, how did I get here?' hand slap on my forehead was replaced with 'OMG WTH am I going to do?'
Not being able to stand upright was frightening in a way that I would have burst into flames if the diagnosis was crutches or a wheelchair. I dropped to my knees and prayed for flexibility, for the pain to be taken away.
I asked my higher power to be led to non traditional healing methods that would prove doctor/prescription methodology of American medicine completely a scam once again .....and I did.
I was able to take my pain from a 12 down to a 2 in over the last four months by employing an anti inflammatory diet, neuromuscular massage, chiropractic work, yoga, meditation and prayer.
Now, I won't lie, I popped an occasional Advil. It hurt so, so bad at times, it was frightening. As I type this, I'm elevated and hoping to meditate the ache away when I'm finished writing.
Four months ago, if I went for a hike or long walk, which I love to do here in the most scenic, photographed town in the good ole U.S of A, I would have life numbing fire rage through the rims of my wheels.
A month ago, I could walk with pain creeping in as soon as I sat down to rest. Determined, I continue along this journey to stand upright and perhaps run soon.
When I learned the four methods American Podiatrists employ on bone spurs or plantars faciitis - my gut turned. I watched YouTube videos and listened to testimonials about shots that temporarily work, surgery that is not guaranteed and horrid to boot.
I vowed that I would not have surgery on my feet at 39.
I prayed to heal my vessel into superhero, that my body would be ready for anything, including pain.
Be careful what you wish for.
During all of this, my paranormal life recently witnessed the first case that threw me through several levels of hoops to the degree of recruiting priests and priestesses for assistance.I spent much time in between books about the D word. Shit was so dark and left marks, literally.
The combination of events brings me to today, at a pain level of 4, a spiritual outlook that still begs all of you to not dabble in anything you have no experience in and yet I am still hopeful. I won't prescribe to big pharma or their prescription slinging con men who would rather sedate you see you back to health and I won't confirm that nothing but light spiritually exists because it's just not what I have been witness to.
If you take away anything from this please, do not settle for one diagnosis. Don't settle for a Doctor forcing a prescription instead of suggesting a path to healing the root of the cause. Do not take spiritual advice from someone who hasn't had enough life experience or is reading from the current list of guru's who believe that nothing but light exists. It's a false negative.
Research. Question everything. Try everything. Don't give in to medication that usually has more harmful side effects than can actually help you. It's crowd control. A
Be the change you seek.