Sunday, May 25, 2014

Me VS. The "Holy" Marketing Paradigm

Hello there.  You look amazing today and you certainly smell great. I hope you are enjoying your holiday like a good citizen.  Now that we've got that out of the way, I need to confess something.
I mean, what else do I do in my blogs but confess to you the weird trappings of my existence walking between worlds, living - dead and otherwise?  
And yet you come back for more and I am so humbled and honored that you would take the care and the time. So thank you. I mean that. Sincerely.

I've written about my writers block.  It's true.  But there's a missing piece to that creative puzzle that needs to be highlighted now: I'm not comfortable selling my self or my gifts the way I've learned.

It's not because I don't believe in what I do, or I don't want to be of service.  In fact, I'm more confident in my abilities and practice than I've ever been. Amen! Sure there have been fearful moments of "Who am I and how did I get here?" but truthfully, for the very first time I am ridiculously happy to be  showing up every day despite any diversity or obstacles.  In this moment truly: I love being of service to spirit, soul and you.  Again, thank you.

But the current lack of comfortability stems from not wanting to follow the popular curriculum of social media marketing formula or to keep cranking out product or workshops or discounted sessions to gain likes on facebook. I loathe the fact that I sit back and silently whisper 'yes' every time someone new signs up for my email list or cringe when someone unsubscribes.
How does my social media ego then serve my being of service?

Although I hail from a resume riddled in marketing
executed in two of the the top five media markets
in our country(& I'm damn good at it) at the moment
 want to pull the plug on every single .com,
tagged photo or post that ties me into the world wide web of....I$.

Blogging about not being able to blog forces me to stay relevant per certain current, and oh-so amazing social media mavens.  'Desire Mapping', dreaming big and outputting and following 'B School' this and 'Forty Day Miracle' inspiring that on this 'Crazy Sexy' platform sprinkled in with a dose of 'Daily Love' has served me so very well. My facebook page has grown.  My weekly tarotscope tripled last week alone. It's felt magical, and amazing and like a big F U to the patriarchy and economical system which often forces me to revert to my alchemist skills in spirits behind the bar in order to pay for the roof over my head and the food in my daughters mouth.  So yes, in their collective wisdom I learned and I am grateful.

However, two weeks ago I checked out, shut off, closed my doors and listened (in the bear cave).
So many people try to talk at/to/with me every day that my head often goes into self preservation mode.  The current holy equation for miracle worker success beeps through instant messenger on my laptop as text messages pour into my phone ba-ling, ba-ling, ba-ling!  All this while my daughter tries to share her current school accomplishment "Mom! Look at me!"  The land line screams to be heard as people walk into my storefront wanting attention or an appointment all while I do my very best to tune out the other worldly people or colorful, quantum energy they bring.  My guides politely stand on the sideline whispering, often shouting their holy humble opinion while I watch the lips of those in my company unknowingly dance to the tune of my favorite song on repeat in the comfort of my head because I just can't be present to this sensory overload.

But I love who I am
and how I serve
and what it is I do. 
I do. 

The formula for success my hired teachers have gracefully served to me and thousands of others in their weekly videos, blogs and books that eats has been for some time, begun to eat at very soul. In conversation with my higher power irony in their sermons explodes.  She winks at me when I notice the slippery slope in the message of delivering your work even if you're a novice & asking for a fair market value of
financial return vs. creating a new generation of snake oil salesman/women
under the guise of divine transformation.

Inexperience is not the new wisdom my guides scream.
Where then lies integrity or authenticity these preachers are preaching
when we are all merely clones or a fraction of someone else's success?
The agony and irony leaves me wanting to head for the good ole days of grass roots marketing.  Reputation on delivery and execution not inflated copy and persistent tweets
was not just the rule of thumb it was everything.

Let me be clear, I am happy for all of my teachers, their success and their balls to share on a level of such great magnitude.  ButI long for something a little less mass marketed and produced for 'those who want to serve'.  This 'miracle worker' as Gabby Bernstien has deemed me for being part of her email list wants to miraculously finish my sentences without being cut off by any and everyone wanting to be heard.  I want to not have to deal with inappropriate feedback or poor facebook ratings from people I've never met or served just because I put myself out there and they decided they didn't like the package.

I want to bow graciously before those who show up in true integrity and not some desperate attempt to be something other than what they hate doing in their cubicle.  I want raw and eager to work not this I tweeted, reposted and served therefore I am entitled mentality that I have gotten swept up in.

Self and cultural transformation is necessary.   
Love is the answer! But not at grossly mass marketed prices that coral
people like sheep and turn them into automatons masked
under the umbrella of cosmically inspired self help.  

Teachers come when you need them most.  It's true.  I would NOT be who I am today without having been divinely led to and influenced by the likes of Kriss -> Marie -> Gabby -> Mastin & Danielle.  
But it's also wise and completely necessary as Buddhist Zen Master Linji teaches to kill the Buddha on the road when you meet him.

Currently I'm uninterested in conversations that will propel myself forward to the next level of boosted posts or internet popularity.
I just want to keep showing up and doing the real life work;  the face to face energy shifting, metaphysical phone conversing, life altering work.
I don't want to force weekly writings or product to stay relevant to my audience or brand.
I want to write when I am moved to inspire movement!  
As it stands I want to serve on a deeper level to those who are open to conversations with their higher power, guides and intuition.  I want to just  Not a packaged version, not the pretty pictures I approve or the tag lines I'm known for.

Yes, I posted this on facebook.
Yep it will probably be in my newsletter too.
I'm not 100% sure that I am fully comfortable in playing
Houdini especially after being in practice for so long and
having left in the winter and just come back.
But if I do decide to yank the social media plug
and vanish into thin air you'll be in the few
who know - who get it.  
That in order to serve big, to go even bigger for me it means to shut out the outside forces and to just be with what and who it is that show up and require my undivided attention, to listen with the ears of my heart not to what the next big divine media maven is selling but to what my soul and intuition are saying and to lovingly serve my higher power through the means that I purposefully mean to.

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