Thursday, November 28, 2013

28 Things I'm certainly NOT thankful for.

While posting things I was grateful for throughout the month, 
I saw snarky e cards poking fun at the fact that Facebook is a place where everyone usually bitches 
not brags about what they are grateful for.  
It made a good point 
and it made me giggle.

Here's a list of things I'm not so grateful for in an attempt to make you do the same (giggle!)
Welcome to my dark side.
Happy Thanksgiving.

28 Things I'm certainly not thankful for.

1. Girls who wear tights as pants.  
What the hell?  Get a hold of yourself. Put a skirt over your ass or just wear jeans.  Just because they are black doesn't mean we can't see your big ole butt through em.  

2. Blue eye shadow.  

3. The word Obamacare.  
If I hear it one more time my head is going to explode.

4. Indecisive people.  

5. Scrapple and people who argue that it's "good".  (GROSS!)

6. Redbull and Monster junkies.  Shit is wacked.  
It's like drinking nuclear piss.  
Drink coffee like the rest of us trying to get a handle on it.

7. People who use facebook as a relationship sounding board
.....or everything sucks sounding board.  
I have three words for you.

8. Those who say therapy isn't for them, they don't believe in it or it doesn't work.
HINT - are the ones
that need it the most.

9. Slut wear on saturday does
not translate into church wear sunday.

10. When people tell me I look overwhelmed.

11. When people tell me I look tired.  
I'm going to choke the next person who does. 
public warning. 

12. When people say "You've lost a ton of weight".
A ton is a fucking whale.  
A ton is a fucking whale.
A ton IS a fucking whale.
Are you telling me I looked or weighed something similar to it?  Jesus.

13. People who call themselves or try to aesthetically identify as "Hippies" 
but are actually the most non peaceful, rude angry anti-hippies. The agony and the irony!
Here's directions on how to be a hippy if you really need them.  
In the mean time, if you need to label yourself or identify as a subculture to be different or to be non conformist
SAVAGES may suit you better.

14. Fat girls that are mean.  
I love all shapes, sizes and colors. HELL I've been most of them!
 But when fat girls are mean girls it's the worst.

15. Anime.

16. The fact that everything is made in CHINA and those people are literally chewing their air.

17. People who parent from their iphone.  
I can and probably will write a whole blog on this.  
Stay present mom and dad. 
Don't raise your kids to be techno assholes.
Or assholes.  
The end.

18. Long Island Medium.  While I'm grateful that TV gives light to this phenomenon to which helps others understand the space between worlds, this woman as THE reality tv example of what that is - is a poor, wack-a-doodle version. Her love of material things and being intrusively flashy far outshines her respect for other peoples boundaries, privacy and the respect of her family.  
And her nails make me gag a lil bit. Just sayin.

19.  New Jersey.  

20.  When reporters ask me if I'm goth.  Or misquote me. 

21. Walking into someone else's fart while I'm shopping.  

22. UBER Republicans. 

23. Flakes.

24. People who hide their shit behind, project their shit onto others or quote insanely to prove a point in the name of GOD with a little brown shield called "The Bible."  

25. People who don't curb their dogs.

26. LAZY people.  

27. The aztec sweater trend.  

28. People who hate on other people just because. 
The world is a really shitastic place most days.  
Hate doesn't make it any better. 
Whatever you need to make yourself happy without hurting other people or doing a massive amount of drugs or self medicating- please do it.  
We need more smiles.  
More smiles for miles people. 
Which brings me right back to shiny happy me.  
Be grateful.
In gratitude.  
Thanks for letting me be not thankful for a second. 

For that - I AM THANKFUL.

Happy T day peeps. All my love! XO - Mick G

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