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Credo - SHE

there comes a time when all rumors and
rhyme start to swirl into something that are unholy.
so it's about tic tock that I lay down the hermetic law on this b
and speak to what this 'cosmic d' is TRUTH all about.

i grew up catholic. in this town - both churches - baptized in one, communion in the other. STRONG.
schooled for twelve years, the fear of God was put in me by my teachers, priests, nuns and my father.
To this day,  I honor - respect and adore many aspects of what I was taught.  Jesus, is my brother and then some.

i became angry with him the minute i realized that historically people created war or acted out in violence and hate in his or his father's name.

when 911 hit, i was 3,000 miles from home. I prayed for a sign that God wouldn't have done such a horrible thing no matter who "HE" belonged to or was worshiped by..or how HE was portrayed in The Ten Commandments. And trust me, I watched the movie every Easter forever and ever......(I still crush on Yule that too creepy?)

Immediately after  this horrific when I met HER.

In the dusty book store that I never ventured into on a regular record store run on a regular saturday afternoon on Haight Street....the magnetic pull in my stomach from the sidewalk to to the strange religious section in the unfamiliar, crowded place
and then it stopped....when the book fell into my hands....
the story of a woman, in the music industry who was called by HER.

SHE showed up in my very first reading with a medium before any of my deceased loved ones showed up. Said my life wouldn't be easy but that I didn't need the woman on the end of the receiver to communicate with her...or the ones who walked before me.

SHE has led me down the road less traveled...the one back home.
SHE has shown me more than I was taught in textbooks or could bargain for.

My mother used to watch Charmed when I lived in San Francisco because it made her "think of me".  She nor I....even had an idea......of the foreshadowing in that....

Flash forward to lying on the table while getting my second ultrasound.  When the word's "It's a girl" left the woman's lips I immediately heard a voice whisper in my left ear "Sophia."  The name I picked for a girl was Tracy.

I've met HER over and over again in every woman I meet.
Every shade, shape and glory of HER.
She is not just one, she is ALL.
I understand her compassion, her wisdom, her magic and her miracles and limitlessness.
I've felt her wrath, her solace, her anger and her lust.

To which, I am now going to completely own:

SHE is me.
I am HER.
To be feminine, to be female is magical by birth.

However, I am a total and complete heretic .....(label)
because where I sit/ stand, kneel
There are no labels in this/that/of - to which I exist.

Call me what you want.
Don't call me at all.
So It is.

Know full well that I heard HER call and I accepted
it no matter how hard, ugly, crazy or rainbow-fruit flavored and sunshiny it's been.
She let's me know it's full spectrum. NO joke. Sure I've ducked and covered lipservice that doesn't serve. But being able to walk tall knowing what I know, seeing what I've seen being where I've been, I wouldn't trade this for any other experience in the world.

SHE ain't for the faint of heart.

So be it.



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