Sunday, May 26, 2013

Can You Love What You Do?

Loving what you do for a living is not impossible.
I read Russell Simmon's Super Rich and learned that making your work a prayer no matter what it is you do for a living means to be of service.  That message came right on time because when read it I was still bartending and it totally carried me through when shit hit the fan!  Even when things got totally rough and beyond messy in my last business "adventure" and I couldn't see the forest through the really huge trees, keeping my work a prayer pulled me through.

Now however being in service and really owning what "I do" feels like a dream.
Serving my community as a consignment boutique owner while connecting people beyond worlds over the internet and beyond, even marrying people as Minister
makes me feel like the Universe and I are in sync.
I can authentically say, I truly love my life.

But staying true to my work and purpose was tested this week as if I was presented a very shiny penny and my core values were being put on the line.

I had repurposed my vision board last Thursday night to fit all of my new dreams and goals.
Yes Virginia, you are never too old to have them nor feel the miracle of them coming to be!
And on Friday I received a phone call from the owner of a NY production company who wanted to interview me for a television show they are working on.

Now this wasn't something I went after. This call came from a reference and was a total shock!

Fast forward to Wednesday.
After her reading the production company owner told me I was great at what I do.
She loved my look and looked forward to working with me.
At lunch we realized we knew some of the same people and both smiled wide at the fact that there are no such things as coincidences. So as was my plan, I wooed her with the story of Jim Thorpe.
It was my thought that if I missed the opportunity to help find missing people (that's what the show is about) then perhaps I could highlight what's happening in town over the man this sacred place is named after!

After, we'll call her Ms. Z, after Ms. Z and I  said farewell, I got a phone call four hours later reiterating how much Ms. Z loved Jim Thorpe and then boom! She asked  if I'd like to be a part of a much different concept than was presented.

Without hesitation I declined.

You see, I am not looking to be a reality TV celebrity or a quick pay out.
I do what I do so that I can stay in service to the local and global community.
That has been and will continue to be my intention. Turning fear into love is my mission.
Helping people touch their divinity and igniting personal transformation is my passion.
If that comes through readings, future writing or by showcasing a budding artist than blessed be.
Taking on some TV show just because I could would take me away from what it is I love.
And saying no felt amazing!

I am happy and so very honored to have had the experience of meeting Ms. Z.
I know the story has only just begun, it's certainly not over and the Universe showed up big to let me know I am on my right path.

Today I'm sitting in my shop, surrounded by local artists and crafters looking forward to my appointments this evening. I am making small talk with strangers, sharing smiles and I am feeling it: life, is good.

I promise if you do what you love, this feeling of abundance and peace too can be yours.

How can you make what you do into what you love?
How can you make your work your prayer?
Are you running from your life's calling or are you thick in it?

As always, email me or leave a comment. I
absolutely love hearing from you.

Blessed be,
Mick G

Tuesday, May 14, 2013

Coming Clean.

It's always my intention to be fully truthful. Satnam.
The word truth is tattooed, inscribed really in Arabic on my arm over a decade now. More importantly, time and experience have taught me that truth always, even if it doesn't end up working in my favor at the moment of honoring it, even if it hurts tremendously... sets you free.

A truth I want to release & to be present to today is: I am a recovering addict.

When people ask me about my intuitive gift, 
if I was born with it or how exactly it came to be, 
part of my story is very, very  dark. 
As the light started to shine in my life, I tried really hard to drink it away. 
I was filled with fear over what I was seeing, feeling, hearing, experiencing and more than anything I just wanted to be 'normal' and live my life.

At the time spirit erupted all around me normal meant living a very rock and roll lifestyle.  
Working in the music industry and living in one of the most brilliant and beautiful cities in the world lent me the ability to escape from my calling at concerts, in dark bars, over morning bong hits and bottles of wine for dinner.

I didn't want to face that something in me was shifting.  I wanted to be like everyone else in my colorful circle. In this however,  I became more alone and hit the bottom of the bottle horrifically.  
Blacking out at my sisters bridal shower, loosing long time friends and staying in bed on Sundays
with pot brownies to shut out the world became my reality.  

Finally I prayed, no I screamed on my knees for help. Among all the voices I was hearing in the dark, 
I soon realized NO ONE was going to help me if I wasn't going to get the F up and do it myself.  

I quit my awesome career and took a less paying, horrible desk job at a really fancy gym. Soon I discovered that those were only baby steps and the universe stepped in with huge force and put me on a plane home.  It was here I'd uncover how I needed to fully heal from all of my wounds while letting the light shine. I would also discover that my body was more than just to be abused sexually, 
emotionally and physically, that it was also divine vessel for life.  
Stepping away from drinking and smoking pot six days a week was a call that I couldn't avoid.
Spirit wanted to be heard and wanted me to communicate!

Fast forward to now.  I won't say I live 100% sober.  
In fact, I purposefully enjoyed port on Mother's day.
Six months ago I was binging hard once a week when Sophia was tucked safely away with her father. I've since put that circus act aside coming to hard terms with my deep separation anxiety.
Truth is my body no longer wants, desires and or needs an escape to my reality, separation anxiety or not.  My body is actually rejecting foreign substances.
Alcohol makes me very sick.  Pain meds my doctor prescribed me for my kidneys well, the side effects for me are detrimental to my well being and my work.  My body wants to be free.
Joy is my new high.  Being clear is so unbelievably delicious and powerful!  

I didn't find this at a 12 Step meeting.  In fact, I attended a few and felt that those were really awful.
I don't have an amazing, close knit support group in my more sober endeavors and I feel like a lone wolf at times. When I do find someone who is sober and who isn't spitting born again-bible quotes at me, I breathe a sigh of relief knowing that there is balance and consciousness can shift without extreme measures.  I am holding space for more of that in my life.  It's most certainly welcome.

Living a more sober life is challenge. But it feels so much better than wanting, needing or desiring any form of crutch to escape.  Don't get me wrong, it's a constant commitment and some days it's really lonely. And there are other vices that I've found myself leaning on to fill the void as I am on my journey: food, cigarettes, coffee, chocolate, social media to name a few.  Right now, I'm balancing a healthy desire to work out more than once a day to be quite honest because I love the adrenaline! But I am doing the best I can do balance those blocks too in order to create a more loving place of service in my work. This is my personal 13 step program if you will.

The serenity prayer works. But so do little choices daily breaking it down and taking days ten minutes at a time. Knowing I have so much more to live for; my daughter, my books yet to come, my family, clients and community helps.  And working on loving even more, pouring love over myself first is key,
accepting my past and blessing everything connected to my future grounds me. Most of all the connection to our earth mother, my daughter and the ALL through the eyes and hearts of my community sees me through.

Today I offer you my truth not to impress you with what I've done but to help you understand where I have come from. Maybe it's not that far from where you are.  Maybe it's more like a place where you'd like to be.  Would you care to share that with me?

I think back to the me who curled up in a ball on my bedroom floor trying to scream with no actual noise coming out of my mouth vs. feeling the joy I feel in the now;
perhaps that visual alone can provide a shred of inspiration to you.  

To date, I have eased up on my coffee addiction coming off six cups of Starbucks a day to one cup of organic bullet proof coffee; I have severely decreased my chocolate intake too. It's believed that when you give up one thing you substitute it with another......since first writing this blog a little over two + years ago, I've come to slowly give up those substitutes too.

So I ask you, or gently prod you to ask yourself - my friend, what are you addicted to?

As always you can private message me and 
I will offer your confession safely to the universe.  And I hold space for you close to my heart. 

In our oneness, let us heal together.

You are loved, 
Mick G

Sunday, May 12, 2013

Mi Madre es Tu Madre

When I was in grade school, my Mother gave up her
lunch hour to supervise the playground.
It was primarily so that I would stop coming home with
bloody knees and tears in my eyes.
Seeing her child in a place of hurt, she threw up her claws and did
what she needed to do to protect her young. As any adolescent would be, I was fearful and anxious over this but
something beautiful occurred: everyone, all of my peers ended up calling her "Mom." It wasn't because she showed those claws, but because she was kind to everyone. So thanks for being an awesome role model MOM.

A decade ago I was sitting
in Glide Memorial Church in San Francisco,
listening to Rev. Douglass Fitch share a lesson on how it takes an entire community to raise a child.
It took me to a place of understanding; of how my parents had to juggle to make ends meet, to make the business of our family work and of my Grandmother, Marie Moyer who did her best to see my sister, cousins & I grow while all of our Mom's did what they needed to do to support us. My grandmother didn't have a lot of material possessions or money. Her husband died early on, leaving her to raise five small children solo while most of her family resided in Canada. To this day is one of my SheRo's.

Fast forward to now.  The lesson Rev. Fitch shared still
rings true as I have permanently graduated
from maiden to mother.
And those closest to me know that
I have not only witnessed but fully
experienced community beyond immediate family
that have rallied behind my
daughter Sophia and I, in seeing that we are safe, supported
and loved in all of our trials and our joy.

I am, Sophia and I, are grateful.

So today as a Mom, I'd like to give it up to all the Mothers and Grandmothers I look up to and respect. I hold sacred space for you, my loving, colorful, creative community. And to beyond those who have been the physical, divine vessels of life, I truly, deeply applaud YOU who live in loving encouragement of our young and each other.

Let us move forward, continuing to treat each other with grand respect,
with gentle kindness and loving care so that we an all come together
collectively spoken or unspoken as one love radiating peace,
and more

Blessed Be.
Rev. Mick G

Sunday, May 5, 2013

Your 'Big Picture' May Be F'n Up Your Now.

"Five year plan?  I don't have one."
I remember saying in an interview at the
Bank of America building in San Francisco
before I landed my gig at Live 105.

But that question burned a hole in my brain. And I started to pay attention to my peers, colleagues and friends who had  a 'plan' or as some of them deemed it a"big picture":  house in the burbs, 2.5 kids, job security, retirement fund.  It all seemed the same at the end of the day.
And every time someone would say it again, my stomach turned.
Something was terribly wrong. Let's be clear. I wasn't judging anyone's dreams.
It felt too confined for me.  I wanted those things too but I wanted more:  adventure, flexibility, possibility and freedom.

Then my life exploded.  Spirit showed up letting me know my B.S. in Communications was a synonym for a degree I was really about to live out.  I came home to the east coast. Sophia was unexpected and born!  So any plan I'd have had put into place with my friends over happy hour day dreams would have been a tragic sham.  Life inherently demanded that I be flexible.

Now, holding space for others and bearing witness to their journey it seems that best laid plans are more than often falling by the wayside, turned upside down by tragedy or life's unexpectedness.  And each and every time the disappointment and depression that set in when the plan get's side tracked or thrashed is heavy.  Sometimes, it's too heavy for people to carry and they loose their lust for life and their light starts to dim.

Which brings me to my Sunday morning soap box:
Don't let go of your big picture but loosen your grip on it because life now is.

Focusing so hard on what "should" happen muddies our journey.
It's the how you get there that's important - the memories you make, the people you meet (and delete) along the way, the smiles, laughter, challenges and lessons.
And I can assure you, if you got everything you wanted in your big picture it would only leave you longing for more. In fact, those I am blessed to come in contact with who have met all of their big picture goals are still searching.  They've achieved their plan and now they don't know how to sit back and receive or they are caught up on what they missed out on.

So what to do?

Wiggle it.  Just a little bit. 
Don't let go of your plans but don't make them so rigid either.  If they involve something or someone and that thing or person has decided to pull the rip chord allow yourself space.  Let there be some breathing room.  Then reevaluate and know that plan B or C could just be the Universe's way of saying - HEY! I have your back and this is even better!

Give yourself the best present.
....Stay present!  You can work 9-5, 40+ hours a week while life slips you by.  As you are trying to get to where you think you need to be five years from now or get "ahead" I beg you to stop and ask yourself this question:  where does that leave today?
Already faded into dust.
 It's true what they say, the best present you can give to yourself and to others is to stay present.
Get in the now.  Slow down.  Take life ten minutes at a time.  It leaves you with less anxiety, expectation and let's you be a little more zen when the unexpected pops up.

I read something from Mastin Kipp yesterday I felt compelled to share. He wrote "Whatever you 'think' your future is or your potential, it is so small compared to what really is possible.
Talk about hitting the nail on the head!

So dream big and keep dreaming friends but do yourself and everyone else a favor and allow yourself the divine gift of staying present to what's really showing up in your life.
Be flexible and open to possibility.  It just may surprise you to know and witness that the Universe wants to and will support your dreams with more miracles and magic than you could have ever imagined.

As always, I will hold space for any of your comments, feedback or appreciation via email or below.
Thank you for participating in today's Gospel of Michelle.

You are blessed.
You are loved.

XOXO - Mick G

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