Skip to main content

Is happy to be.

Almost a year ago, I made a call to the universe in regards to finding a life partner.
I did what I thought best to do, law of attraction style and what all the 'relationship' coaches 
had advised in their seminars and cds: I wrote all the qualities and awesomeness I could bring to the partnership out on paper and felt good about what I had to offer.  Then....
I wrote a list of all the qualities physical, emotional and spiritual 
I want this person to have.
I tucked it away in a drawer and only thought about it when the pangs of my heart twanged over relationship endings, new beginnings crashed and burned or the people who came forward were hungry for the story I could well, tell them about....them not 'share'. 

And of course I've learned quite a few lessons. Some of them louder than others.  
Some, so emotionally hard, others physically & spiritually painful but each of them, 
if even on a friendship/acquaintance level have definitely cracked me open with flashlight, chisel and gave me a deeper insight to the goings on inside of me.

Regardless of who, relationships are mirrors into our own deepest gulch's. 
What we love in another person we ultimately get jazzed up over within us.
What we judge or loathe in another person well, those qualities also can be found somewhere in the luggage that we have in our proverbial closets.
But in this process I also learned to trust what it is I value about me as well as 
what would I value if I did open 
myself up to a mutual loving partnership 
and it's more than what I concocted on some well advised list.  

So today I'm going to clear the air, clean the slate 
and make it perfectly clear to myself and the universe because I want to make sure I'm heard:
I'm good.  
I'm solid.
I need not someone or anyone else to complete me because I am complete.  
I am filled with love and radiate love to all of those I meet 
(even those who continue to show no kindness in return).

While I am honored to be of service in helping others to heal, 
I do not wish that to be my primary function in my close personal friendships/relationships 
because more than anything in that sacred space 
there is only room for fun, love, laughter and trust.  I get it now. 

My happiness and joy as well as my daughters are vital to the continued harmony of our lives and cramming someone else into the equation is just not appropriate at this time.
So my experience online dating is on a shelf with some interesting stories and memories to boot.

From this day forward I'm committing full time to only hold space for people 
who want to be in my life because they appreciate my humor, charm, creativity, 
smile, freckles, awesome daughter and not so normal life 
as much as I appreciate the beauty and gifts they too radiate into the world.
I will no longer allow anyone to take up my time or space who only want 'work related' things to be our conversation nor will I allow anyone to use me to fill a void within their universe while they figure themselves out.

So thank you kindly for helping me get to this realization.  
Trial and error, wishful thinking and all.

I'm good right where I am.  
(And ...you are too!)

Peace.

M


Comments

Popular posts from this blog

A Suicide Berceuse.

This is for you the broken hearted.This one is for you who can’t get out of bed and for you who may be finding it so damn hard to return the texts, emails and phone calls from anyone. 
This one is dedicated to those who having a hard time showing up because even thinking about showing up is too much energy. 
This one is for you who can’t seem to move on after the loss of a beloved. It’s for the ones whose days gone by are better than the days you’ve been wading through.This is for all of you who can’t catch a break financially, romantically or dream wise and wonder what it's all for.
The world has an immeasurable void in it. Constant pain inflicted from headlines or bylines is palpable. You’re unsure of your footing on our planet because the ground beneath you is unstable even when the sun shines otherwise. 
This one is for you who have contemplated at least once, perhaps even more than once about pressing the eject button on life. It’s here that you are in good company. It's…

4 Reasons Why Badmouthing Others is BAD For YOU.

I was talking today with a friend about the importance of words.  How you use them, positively, negatively any which way.  Words are like weapons.  Once you put them out there, they are pretty much impossible to take back.  Sure you can say you are sorry but it doesn't wipe the blood and guts off the floor from the initial bullet wound.  Forgiveness is key, but let's be mindful of our words from the get.  Dig?

Here's a repurposed blog to go along with those thoughts.

Everyone gets hurt. No one is perfect. People mess up. Mistakes are made. But the cross you bare when you badmouth someone else's questionable deeds or good fortunes, their life advances or personal tragedies is a very heavy one.

When you engage in loose lip service per say "warning" peers or anyone within earshot about someone or someone's "drama" or perhaps you seem to regurgitate the pain someone has caused you over and over to friends, strangers, clients, family members....wel…

Here are my demands.

Everyday, dozens of questions come at me via text, email, voicemail, Facebook,
instagram and on the street. My late friend Tommy encouraged me to answer every single one because every one, EVERYONE matters.  And yes, I truly do believe that.

In my spiritual practice, my intention is to hold space with those who are looking to open up more, to be inspired, to touch possibility then take that into their world and light the next candle closest to them. Every day I pray for healing - for you, for the good of all.
That is what fires me up. That is what gets me pumped in the morning when I'm dancing solo in my kitchen getting ready to take on the day, bringing on the good vibes!

Sure, I may see things other ignore. And true, I've been known to serve as a line between the physical and the unseen.  But what's most important is that I am a soul, just like you having a human experience. With that comes the same trials, tribulations and concerns you have on a daily basis
- trust me…