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Dec 10th, 2012

Dearest Rockell, 

What the fuck motherfucker!?

You know, I couldn’t talk to anyone else that way and right now, in retrospective. in honor of your birthday and NSSN
....I am  laughing so hard!

Dude Happy Birthday! Happy NSSN!  Merry Ho Ho....Oh yeah! And the world is ending according to the Mayans....but whatever. No "New Rock Emergency" Right? 
The show will go on!

Thank you for good memories pre holiday drama this time of year! Did I mention I miss you?

I'm not going to lie. This weather makes me miss San Francisco and California so much too.  Winter is going to be cold and a bitch. The warning signs are not screaming they are throwing grenades at us. But I digress.

It was NSSN tonight! How could your Spirit not be conjured? Your birthday is also tomorrow! Are you hanging out with your Dad and Dave?  Ten bucks you are!

Just in case you weren't aware, during my move last week, into the five story colonial with my own storefront, from a one bedroom apt,  and experiencing some pretty heavy crazy crap - your postcard 
(from your life celebration...)
 kept showing up everywhere, no matter where I purposefully placed it).....

Good one dude.

And then I as stood at my sink about to do the dishes on a monday am, waiting for coffee - there was the red bird.


In addition to the strong power of suggestion and because of the wheel of the year,
you're indeed in my dreams, on my mind,
& all over facebook!
So I am grateful! It's like doses of happy memories!

But I am wondering...
(Pardon the tears in my eyes.)
Did you help get me this promotion? 
If you did, Thank you.

OK last time, promise: I miss you so much. 
I have learned so much
since we last saw each other, the day you met my daughter
since we last emailed,
since we last talked
and through your passing,
about our relationship
about myself
and about
who I am today in light of such things.

Robin, you were one of my greatest teachers and mentors. 
You treated me like family because you knew I needed it. We had a special language and understanding even when we didn't...  
You always had my back.
Your laugh was one of the most contagious, courageous miracles I ever experienced.  
And I purposefully recall it especially to heal me in times of anxiousness.

Dude, Thank you for everything.
You made my life one million times better than what it was.

You can count on the fact that memories of NSSN and BFD swell my brain during the appropriate seasons. .....Like "That one time with Crazytown at The Phoenix)!

I have held and continue to hold 
all of our adventures, journeys 
and "OMG! WTF’S?’S" in the highest regards.

With great respect
I say 
See you soon dude.


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