Sunday, June 10, 2012

Patience Is Not A Downloadable App.

"Mom, can you teach me Patience?" 
My four year old asked.
            "Sweetheart, I'm working on it myself, everyday."

Pa·tience

1. the quality of being patient as the bearing of provocation, annoyance, misfortune, or pain, without complaint, loss of temper, irritation, or the like.
     
      Thinking clearly before casting judgement or acting out based on emotion seems to be broad strokes for so many.  We are such a fast food, instant gratification nation and we want our pleasure and our answers NOW!        And if the answer just happens to be no, well then, we need to know when it will change to a yes because the consumer, the client, the customer ...we are always right....  

2.Patience - ability or willingness to suppress restlessness or annoyance
 when confronted with delay.
   
Confrontation with delay sounds a lot like: Did he text back yet?  
Why isn't he/she texting? emailing? calling? 
When will I get the instant gratification that I want now?
           
     Impatience = opposite of patience. It's needy, gritty, desperate and unkind.
    
Patience is not only a virtue (something that is morally & ethically correct) it is very much a lost art, right there with chivalry.
I'm seeing, being & experiencing this as a heavy theme as of late.   I'm also recognizing my own part in it's sappy, crappy story and the moral is...I don't like it.
So how does one practice or become more patient? 
Since Miss Sophia brought this transformative question to the table I've had some time to observe.  I listened. I unraveled and got way up close and very much too personal with the subject to come to theories on how I can ...at least in the next three weeks try.

     3.Patience - quiet, steady perseverance; even-tempered care. 
Practicing patience steadily is prayer I'm going to try to endure for the next three to six weeks.
Because I've no idea what I'm doing (obviously) I've done a bit of research & gathered the following in order to move forward putting this uncomfortable epidemic to rest.
  1. Figure it out.
  2. Multitasking? Stretching yourself too thin? Rework the to-do list before attempting to change your natural reaction to an overwhelming situation. Spread out tasks to do one thing at a time, without leaving yourself in eagerness of something to busy yourself with. Delegate responsibilities; this in itself may be a test of your patience, but you have to learn to share the load.
  1. Pinpoint triggers 
  2. If you feel anxious, worried, or unhappy you may not even realize that the underlying cause of these feelings is impatience. To reduce the frequency of impatience, be aware. The core of most triggers is a reality we have a hard time accepting
  1. Look for patterns.
  2. Awareness gives you opportunity to learn & uncover a relationship or circumstance that is simply not healthy or constructive. You have the power to change. Fix the root problem rather than simply feeling stressed about it.
  1. Keep A Checklist 
  2. Write down whatever feeling is associated with not being patient. Note when the feeling occurs to be are more aware of (& more prepared for) the feeling of impatience. Observe objectively. You may conclude that circumstances surrounding the feeling are not causing you angst - the feeling itself is. Then you'll be able to better control impatience.
  1. Just Breathe 
  2. In the long run patience requires a change in your attitude about life. You can immediately make progress by learning to relax whenever you feel impatient. Concentrate on breathing and you'll be able to get your bearings.
  1. Let Go  
  2. If there isn't anything that you can do to resolve your trigger let it go. It's possible & the only healthy thing to do. Initially, you will probably find it difficult to let go if the matter is important to you - waiting to hear back after a job interview, for instance - but you should be able to alleviate impatience that's caused by issues of less consequence (i.e. waiting in line at the store). If you make a concerted effort you'll gradually develop the strength to remain patient in even the most trying and enduring situations.
Some things just can't be rushed. Anything really good in life takes time/ dedication. Impatience gives up on relationships, goals, and other things that are important. Good things may not always come to those who wait, but most good things that do come don't come right away.
  1. Remember what matters 
  2. Move the world toward peace. Be kind, generous and forgive others. Be grateful for what is. When other less important things fuel impatience, taking time to remember any one of these items reduces the tendency to want something different right now.
  3. Feed Your Soul  
  4. Know how to occupy yourself, even in the silence. Patience is a mental skill. Impatience is something not to be proud of, but something that you should attempt to train yourself out of, before it is something that overthrows your life.
  1. Smile  
  2. Being positive is imperative to possessing a sense of patience. Remember that life is but a journey to be savored each step of the way.
  1. Accept lemons in life gracefully. Keep expectations in check not only with circumstance, but also with the behavior of those around you. If you find yourself blowing up over your child or your spouse accidentally spilling a drink, consider why you are not in touch with the fact that no one is perfect.
  1. Take A Time Out  
  2. How? First, do nothing. Sit quietly. You can slow your world down.  Second, stop holding yourself and those around you to unreachable standards. We'd be more patient if babies didn't cry, bosses didn't demand, computers didn't crash, and people didn't make mistakes - but that's not real. Give yourself a break!
  3. So here's to being more flexible, less flying off the handle and a lot more happy in traffic and construction zones while traveling in the heat minus complaining or angry tweeting or texting.  Challenging? Quite. But I think I'm up for it.   Will you take the patience challenge with me?





  [pey-shuhns]   noun

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