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Surrendering. Letting go. Giving ourselves to our inner guide that is connected to Source, not ego.

It's quite the process.
 My Mom's T-Shirt reads; Live Your Life.

Shedding the past and breaking patterns is intense.
At the moment, I feel cracked open. My egg waiting, listening.
Meeting with my own personal guru this week allowed me to sit in gratitude knowing that I am not alone in my surrendering.
We share the same experience on some level even when I don't feel connected and somewhat out of faith.
But I desire to know more, peeling back all layers of the purple onion, hoping my shiny disco ball  to be revealed, will be.
I'm diving deeper because I'm surrounded by assignments coming from multi purpose angles.
Teachers are everywhere and within everyone I meet.

Friday night I had the pleasure of 'reading' for the local graduating class of 2012.
There was almost one hundred individuals waiting in line to inquire. In this grand adventure there was no time for ego. I prayed to God to inspire in a big way.

Long after the DJ quit and the hypnotist was done wooing the crowd, there was still a line of people waiting to receive a personal message.
It hurt. At two am, I wanted physically to quit but I couldn't.
I learned so much by each and every face.  I truly had no idea what I was in for.
What I was shown and the feelings and energy that bounced off these soon to be grads (and their parents) was exciting.  And while my ego wanted to shine a light and inspire them with timeless affirmations the source had other plans. So I had to surrender... some more.

To be of service, to surrender I had to really relinquish my own will, to invite humbleness in on a very large scale and act from a place of power.
Not knowing how to do that with all the noise and physical commotion that was happening around me was worrisome at first but I had to take a deep breath and surrender to that too.
As Gabby Bernstien says, surrender then surrender some more.

Despite any distraction, what was shown in my mental movie theatre, that which I was able to translate and share was astonishing. For the first time ever I had inherited a kind of psychic GPS. Every person that sat next to me came with precise visions of which part of the county they lived in.  It was incredible!  Through noise and interruptions I was able to communicate from a place that wasn't reacting.

Grateful, now for the experience of surrendering on such a large scale this weekend. Also thinking of the amount of surrendering I have done becoming a parent as mother's day is here. The practice of surrendering to the Universe being a medium and showing up to be a much better person in relationships is a required job skill.
I would not have been able to transform in the least bit without having to surrender ego and give my will to the will of the greatest good. Being of highest service is the test, a daily challenge that I am going to continue to trust and to practice.
Some days are most certainly better than others.   But with the amazing love of my daughter, my mom & support staff. it will get easier in time.


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