Monday, May 21, 2012

Eclipsing Heart

Dear Readers,
The world needs more love letters. I will have this etched on my urn.  It’s something I will continue to believe until my last breath.

I’d like to share an experience hopefully to inspire you to LOVE more.
All Names have been changed.

Henry heard I read “fortunes”.   
He was so anxious that he showed up a week early.  

Finally at our appropriate meeting time, Henry and I met face to face. A thin, older gentleman with grey hair and glasses wearing a navy blue tee shirt entered Venus & The Moon. He looked worn down as if he spent way too many days crying and not enough time eating solid foods.  The gentle soul stepped into my office smiling. “Are you here this week?”
“I’m so very glad to meet you.” I smiled.

We prayed together. I held his hands.  It wasn’t a second later that spirit filled the room. His wife didn’t hesitate introductions. She was a vibrant being with a lot to say.  He lost Tassy in April.  She was the love of his life. 
     Tassy made reference to their initial meeting then mentioned their honey moon or lack there of and the special incident with two hundred hamburgers at their reception. Tassy made clear the color of her hair and that the outfit she and Henry had discussed that she be buried in wasn’t put on her body before it was laid to rest. But she wanted him to know that she was wearing it in spirit anyway!

Tassy's spirit also showed that as her husband drove truck she gladly sat next to him every morning. Her spirit even showed the red lanyard hanging from his rearview mirror that held her picture in it. She missed riding his Harley and wanted him to get back on it very soon.

When Henry revealed that his wife was diagnosed with cancer in September, spirit showed me a lit cigarette being flicked out a moving window. Hank put his hands to his mouth admitting she quit the minute the Doctor gave her the news.

As the loving banter and messages of spirit that usually are made in introduction were fast they suddenly turned furious.
So I grabbed his hands harder and the words just flew out of my mouth. 
     “You will not put that gun in your mouth. Ever.  Do you hear me?  You will never be with her if you do.”
     “Why?” He cried.  “How do you know?" 
I didn't answer I just waited for him to take a breath. 
      "Before I came here I laid next to her in the cemetery and told her I’d be close behind.”
      “Well Henry, she heard you and she’s pissed.”

Spirit stayed to convince the love of her life that choosing death wasn’t the path Henry was meant for. Henry’s children and grandchildren needed him and his lessons in this life were not over just yet. 
Tassy assured that she would wait for him with patience and in love and that she was with him every step of the way and that he just needed to have a little more fun and a lot more faith.
     “I just loved her so much. I hate being without her.” He confessed. As if he even needed to.
Tears welled in my eyes.  
     “Oh! I’m sorry I made you cry.” He said.
      “I’m not.” I laughed nervously.  “Thank you.”
       "Why would you thank me?” He laughed nervously in return.

“Henry, you’re love for Tassy gives me hope that true love really does exist. I mean, I know it exists in all shapes and forms. But selfishly, with all the pain and suffering in this world, someday I hope someone loves me like you love Tassy.”
      I couldn’t reiterate enough to my new friend that his work on this plane wasn’t finished and that laughter and music would be his best medicine. His wife even made a Credence Clearwater Revival reference!
After hugging Henry goodbye I thanked God, Goddess & Spirit for giving me the opportunity to be present to such deep and profound love for that emotion to cross over dimensions and time.  It’s not the first time it’s happened but each & every time it does it seems that I get a little glimpse of hope right when I personally need it most.

     I also am witnessing (because I had to soothe three love struck girls earlier in the day, myself included) that every single one of us wants the same thing when the day is done, to love and to be loved.  Deep connection is one thing. Communication beyond dimensions is another. If you truly love someone let he or she know. 
     Fear holds no place in Love and vice versa. And, as my job continues to let me know every single day - you never know what life can and will bring next.
Be good to one another and be damn good to yourselves.

All my love,

Saturday, May 12, 2012

Surrendering. Letting go. Giving ourselves to our inner guide that is connected to Source, not ego.

It's quite the process.
 My Mom's T-Shirt reads; Live Your Life.

Shedding the past and breaking patterns is intense.
At the moment, I feel cracked open. My egg waiting, listening.
Meeting with my own personal guru this week allowed me to sit in gratitude knowing that I am not alone in my surrendering.
We share the same experience on some level even when I don't feel connected and somewhat out of faith.
But I desire to know more, peeling back all layers of the purple onion, hoping my shiny disco ball  to be revealed, will be.
I'm diving deeper because I'm surrounded by assignments coming from multi purpose angles.
Teachers are everywhere and within everyone I meet.

Friday night I had the pleasure of 'reading' for the local graduating class of 2012.
There was almost one hundred individuals waiting in line to inquire. In this grand adventure there was no time for ego. I prayed to God to inspire in a big way.

Long after the DJ quit and the hypnotist was done wooing the crowd, there was still a line of people waiting to receive a personal message.
It hurt. At two am, I wanted physically to quit but I couldn't.
I learned so much by each and every face.  I truly had no idea what I was in for.
What I was shown and the feelings and energy that bounced off these soon to be grads (and their parents) was exciting.  And while my ego wanted to shine a light and inspire them with timeless affirmations the source had other plans. So I had to surrender... some more.

To be of service, to surrender I had to really relinquish my own will, to invite humbleness in on a very large scale and act from a place of power.
Not knowing how to do that with all the noise and physical commotion that was happening around me was worrisome at first but I had to take a deep breath and surrender to that too.
As Gabby Bernstien says, surrender then surrender some more.

Despite any distraction, what was shown in my mental movie theatre, that which I was able to translate and share was astonishing. For the first time ever I had inherited a kind of psychic GPS. Every person that sat next to me came with precise visions of which part of the county they lived in.  It was incredible!  Through noise and interruptions I was able to communicate from a place that wasn't reacting.

Grateful, now for the experience of surrendering on such a large scale this weekend. Also thinking of the amount of surrendering I have done becoming a parent as mother's day is here. The practice of surrendering to the Universe being a medium and showing up to be a much better person in relationships is a required job skill.
I would not have been able to transform in the least bit without having to surrender ego and give my will to the will of the greatest good. Being of highest service is the test, a daily challenge that I am going to continue to trust and to practice.
Some days are most certainly better than others.   But with the amazing love of my daughter, my mom & support staff. it will get easier in time.

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