Friday, January 22, 2010

Laying her to rest

I'm not sure if I should write about this just yet
- but I kind of want to get it off my chest being the day of the final service & all.....

I was contacted in November about a missing person's case
could I help?

could I?

A friend knew the head officer in charge of the case
- he asked for my contact info and I waited......
anxiously - nervously...really??
When the phone rang November 12th , 9:30pm it wasn't the State Trooper - I was expecting...
Instead - it was the daughter of the missing woman -
she identified herself and stated that the
State Trooper passed along my info to the her
(without EVER speaking to me, meeting me - etc.....)

Needless to say - I was a little overwhelmed. Did this cop totally trust me to do such a thing?
Also, because of my empathic nature - it's best that I don't work with (emotional) people or people close to the case ....I just need the facts mam.

However, I took the call & promised the young woman on the other end of the receiver
that the next day I was going to trace her mother's last whereabouts.
I would call her if I realized anything.

3pm, Friday the 13th - (right?)
I drove to a local D&D to wait for my cop friend & his cop friend
(neither the lead investigator on the case).......
Upon closing my car door, I was met with 13 very zealous strangers, some dressed in bright orange hunting gear and others in camo....some had walking sticks, others canteens & binoculars.


"Are You the Psychic?" the oldest gentlemen asked.
"Are You?" I replied in awe.
"I used to be but I don't have time for that shit anymore." he snarled.
I shook my head and listened to him assessing that this search party was anxious to get started.

I just had to pee - and clear my head.
What the hell was happening?

Waiting for my cop friend in D&D
- a woman asked me if I was the missing woman's relative.
No - I smiled.
"Are you the psychic?" she followed.
"I wouldn't say that ....exactly...I'm more like a radio ... that's come to pick up on her signal....But that's besides the point - how did you know I was coming - what's going on outside? I'm a little confused."

"The Mayor called all the media outlets to say that a psychic was called in to the case."

I turned from her and walked to my car to possibly get in it and hide...or drive away.
I saw my friend pull in as I fumbled around for an oxygen tank and breathing mask that oh yeah....I didn't have and while I was busy trying to remain grounded - I guess I missed the TV camera coming straight for my face.
Close the car door.....
"Are you the Psychic? Can we talk to you?"
"What? No!" I pushed the camera away from my face - "I have a family dude - and honestly - this isn't about me - it's about the missing woman."
The skinny buddy holly look alike with the heavy equipment looked confused. So I kept up... "Why are you here?"
Clearly - he was putt off MY questions.
"UM...Do you mind if I ask you questions off camera?"
"Um, I guess....."
I smiled then repeated myself - dude - this isn't about me - it so important to just keep the focus on the lady.

Completely overwhelmed - I walked back in to D&D to greet my cop friend who ironically was happy to be ordering coffee & donuts. "What's going on?"
He hadn't a clue.

Random people in D&D gathered around us to listen. It was so bizarre.
An employee from came from behind the counter with a cordless phone and handed it to me -
It's the radio station - they want to talk to you......

I shook my head and walked back outside.
Don't panic
Just breath
Don't panic
just breath
this isn't about you - it's about helping this woman get back to her daughter.....breath.

We decided to take 2 cars (the newspaper reporter in mine) and off we went ....

Almost two hours after I began - i was coming to a deadline
-I had an appointment to take care of - some hostile energy in a house across town......
So I had to end the circus of people following me like my own personal paparazzi

While I had been meditating on a bench by the river - I saw a carnival taking place behind me to the right.....when I opened my eyes - the entire bright orange and camo clad crew were in the brush...moving sticks, throwing rocks, and screaming upon finding a....KEG.
really???? a KEG?

So I stood on the park bench I was sitting on- and almost instantly the group gathered around -
I told them the following: thank you - so much for coming - today - you must have so much love in your heart for ________________.
But -
if you can continue watching - please do so late at night because - she's going to be moved from where she is -
she's not in the water - not now - she's going to be moved to the water......

i thanked them for coming - told them to keep praying as it stood because
they were her guardians....

I jumped off the park bench and begged the newspaper reporter not to print my name.
I didn't tell those people - or the reporter
what I told the cops......there's no way! I didn't want to start a riot ....

And now - on the day of her funeral -
I wonder if I had went on camera that day -
or if the lead investigator had talked to me about the things I truly saw and heard
....if things would be different .....

I went to honor her today.
I had to.
Even though I didn't know this woman on this walking plane
- I certainly was supposed to greet her in her death. I tried running from this opportunity screaming - believe me - it just kept coming back.
I couldn't walk away no matter what - how hard I tried.

...And for this - my first time....
November 14th - She clearly - stood in my kitchen and spoke to me - laughed - such a boisterous, grand laugh.
After hearing so many lovely things about her - this afternoon, I can't imagine that someone so kind and lovely - could exit or be allowed to- as such.

But regardless of THE how -
we all have some kind of ending.
We come in - we go out.
That was her finale.

She is happy though - so happy -
I got to know her - and her family - her daughter -
Her tragedy came to my doorstep, handed me a notebook and a golden unicorn music box (no really, and it played the day of her autopsy) and whispered in my ear- come see this.

And now, I am yelling from the top of the mountain- BACK to the universe

As of this date, I have yet to receive a call from the officer in charge of the investigation. I did however call him and he wasn't nice or helpful or even cooperative in terms of just being a human being. Which totally = BLOWS MY MIND being the daughter of a well respected and well loved - COP.

A Lesson Learned:
The things you demand of the universe will also make demands on you.

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

It's been a while.....

Twenty-Ten. Amen brothers and sisters.
Despite a new year filled with resolutions and possibility
we are smack dab in the midst of dead time - winter.

This recent full moon and eclipse have been very taunting.
Footsteps - thirty to forty at my front door with no one there in the dead of night - taunting.

Please note that The spirit world is alive and the veil is very slippery and thin.
Who ever named Halloween the day where the veil was thinnest failed to mention that it was only the beginning of a long, dark season of walkabouts.

Paranormal Activity is at a high. If you are experiencing doors slamming or sinks running - it's most likely a love one letting you know that they have stopped by to check in for the holidays.
If it's worse than that and you feel like you or your loved ones are in harms way - please email me and I will see to it that you are assisted as soon as possible.

I'd like to take this time to personally apologize for being so neglectful of this blog - and space.
November 13th - Friday the thirteenth to be precise - my life - in the other world was rocked to the core and it has taken me some time to understand the events that unfolded before my closed and open eyes that day.
I am just grateful to have had the founders of the BMPS team with me - because truly -
I don't know how I would have succeeded in ridding a local home of such great, unclean energy otherwise.
Three days later, the earth lost one of the brightest & kindest Goddesses I have met to date. The unexpected suicide of an old friend swept me away.

These events have taught me so much about the grieving process and the remarkable phenomenon that life - here, on this plane is short and filled with surprise. We may never - be ready to say goodbye - yet it's one's faith in their higher power - a stability in that - which allows you to move forward - knowing that when we cease to be a part of these here skin bags walking around figuring out why it is we are here - we will meet each other again on a different plane.

My goal for 2010 is to open a space where people can learn meditation, metaphysiques and of course come for spiritual counseling should they be suffering from things that may ail them in the night.
I firmly believe that it is my ultimate duty to walk between those worlds and continue to share those experiences with you - you are not alone.
You are loved and held in honor and respect.

Happy New Year folks.
May it be filled with an abundance of love, laughter and joy.

In 2008, I had postpartum depression. It was so severe that I had impending thoughts of doom, daily. "What if I left the stove on an...