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Because of you, I Am Today.

Fortunately for me, I have a Wonderwoman lunch box
filled with Cd's of our time & our laughter together.
Your voice, right now - singing sweetly in my ears.

Fortunately for me,
YOU rebirthed me.

I have a draft of an email I never sent...yes...
it's addressed to you with subject line stating:
Because of YOU I am today.

Let me take a stab at finishing this communication I failed to send previously.
I hope someday it's received.

Dearest Janna,
You held me, in the darkest time of my life
when I was most vunerable and lonely
and you called bullshit on me when there was bullshit
swimming in my eyes all "automatic pattern" as you'd say.
(insert loud, infectious Janna laughter here)

I sat across the room from you many occasions
thinking how damn beautiful you were! Perfect in every sense of shape and form.
Wondering what it would be like to dance at Burning Man with you, creating a safe space for other women to dance with spirit freely in the 'almost skyclad dress' you colorfully described.

You pointed out my intuition and my sense of knowing and ironically
 today I am connecting people on both sides of the living plane.
I do believe that it's a bouquet from the seeds we planted in our work, the tool kit, we constructed and put together;  the "deeper knowing" you so often spoke of. And while I've been walking between worlds for the past year intensely,  the news of your departure came to me through distant shores - Facebook....

I've been crying for hours, eyes swollen....Wonderwoman - WHY?

Sometimes, those who give so deeply of others leave little room for themselves.

I wish I would have known.
I would have sent Wonderwoman to fix you
so that you could continue to inspire others the way you have me, and 
so many of us.

Your love and interest in human design will live on as long as I am breathing.

Goodbye my friend.
I don't understand.
I don't know if I ever will.

But I love you - regardless.


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