Wednesday, November 25, 2009


I am thankful for YOU.
for the stars and the moon.
For the feast and a day off of work with the rest of civilization.
For love and all it's possibilities.
For hope
For my family and their health & well being.
For friends peppered far and near.
For abundance, creativity and of course
- penetrating & infectious laughter (& hugs) -
the cure of all disease.


Thursday, November 19, 2009

Because of you, I Am Today.

Fortunately for me, I have a Wonderwoman lunch box
filled with Cd's of our time & our laughter together.
Your voice, right now - singing sweetly in my ears.

Fortunately for me,
YOU rebirthed me.

I have a draft of an email I never sent...yes...
it's addressed to you with subject line stating:
Because of YOU I am today.

Let me take a stab at finishing this communication I failed to send previously.
I hope someday it's received.

Dearest Janna,
You held me, in the darkest time of my life
when I was most vunerable and lonely
and you called bullshit on me when there was bullshit
swimming in my eyes all "automatic pattern" as you'd say.
(insert loud, infectious Janna laughter here)

I sat across the room from you many occasions
thinking how damn beautiful you were! Perfect in every sense of shape and form.
Wondering what it would be like to dance at Burning Man with you, creating a safe space for other women to dance with spirit freely in the 'almost skyclad dress' you colorfully described.

You pointed out my intuition and my sense of knowing and ironically
 today I am connecting people on both sides of the living plane.
I do believe that it's a bouquet from the seeds we planted in our work, the tool kit, we constructed and put together;  the "deeper knowing" you so often spoke of. And while I've been walking between worlds for the past year intensely,  the news of your departure came to me through distant shores - Facebook....

I've been crying for hours, eyes swollen....Wonderwoman - WHY?

Sometimes, those who give so deeply of others leave little room for themselves.

I wish I would have known.
I would have sent Wonderwoman to fix you
so that you could continue to inspire others the way you have me, and 
so many of us.

Your love and interest in human design will live on as long as I am breathing.

Goodbye my friend.
I don't understand.
I don't know if I ever will.

But I love you - regardless.

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

"I need a priest on speed dial".

One that's open minded so to speak.
But he's got a have a pair of balls.
One that calls NO BULLSHIT
and doesn't back down if needed.

Does anyone have any friends
or friends of friends in the area?

I'm also looking for medical professionals with the same attributes.

or super relious kickboxers?


Friday, November 6, 2009

We are haunted by the living more than the dead

Once a man worries, he clings to anything out of
desperation; and once he clings he is bound to get exhausted or to exhaust whomever or whatever he is clinging to. A warrior-hunter, on the other hand knows he will lure the game into his traps over and over again, so he doesn't worry." ~ Carlos Castaneda from The Wheel of Time

I met with a client today who's house is active.
Members of the family are being touched -
doors slam, things go bump in the night. Yet - the client wonders why nothing happens specifically to "her".

But in listening to "JANE" talk about her current stress level and hear her worry about what is happening to the people around her as she repeats her anger & frustration

- "Jane" does not equate her "unusual bouts of screaming" that last up to 3 hours or her increased anger
as anything that is "happening" to her because she's not being touched or seeing like the other family members.

Yet "JANE" is experiencing - and feeling things that the others are not.
She is a sensitive. She will not receive the way others do - her senses pick up on the anxiety or the negativity that are residual within the walls.
She is also someone who is very open to suggestion.
Yet, ironically Jane's frustration blinds all three of her eyes.

She recognizes that there is energy unseen but is upset that "it" is not coexisting on her or her family's terms.
So the negative energy in the house reacts to her & her family's frustration. Cause =Effect.

"The Trick is in what one emphasizes. We either make ourselves miserable, or we make ourselves strong. The amount of work is the same. ~ Carlos Castaneda from The Wheel of Time

I realized today - that if we are being "haunted"
we must first step outside our physical environment & ask ourselves
- what is it that is haunting us?
I don't mean in the land of the unknown or dead- but rather in the KNOW
What is it within us that is not at rest?
That lives on although it should be buried?
Where could we bring peace within our life?
Could the emphasis on what has been or what could be keep us from "the" living?
Are we deflecting on what we can't or won't fix on "the dead"? Are we looking elsewhere for answers that plague or minds and make us forget our own self inquiry?

I assured the client that no matter what happens in the middle of the night,
she in fact holds all the power - to remain powerless and frustrated or to live in peace and harmony.

The law of attraction clearly states that our thoughts become things - and if we are projecting fear, anxiety and chaos at dangerous levels we are manifesting the same in our environment.

I do believe that the history of the home holds negative energy.
I do believe that when someone is sensitive it's important to recognize the power that lies within that person because- she/he holds the wild card in making or breaking the situation.
Why?? Sensitives are like conductors and whatever it is they choose to emphasize will in fact manifest.

My prescription to the client until BMPS can further investigate how the cats are locked out at night, how hammers fly across the room and the shower steams with no one in sight - is that They each fully invest in taking control of what they can in their own lives and the harmony will then follow in the house.

Until then, I will keep my fingers crossed and you posted.


Quotes borrowed from Philosophers Notes.
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