Sunday, July 5, 2009

Sleep to Dream

The past few weeks have been a whirlwind of 
Dermatologist visits &  begrudgingly accepting needles, razors & 
burns in my arm then shelling out lots of cash for prescripts which
I'm not sure are helping.

Because as days go on...
I feel just....AWFUL.

And it seems, that with all the 
blood extracted from me, 
that the findings are alerting 
my razor & needle 
happy Doc that I'm
Allergic To The Sun. 

(I know, insert Vampire jokes here).

...for the past 3 summers.
How did this suddenly happen?

The most recent round of blood samples suggests my Thyroid is off.  
Meaning I have to see a different Doctor for more tests/needles, blood stuffs.
BUT, in studying the mind/body/emotional connection to humans and disease - this seems to be a communication issue - an aggressive perfectionist vs. peacekeeper  - to sum it up what I personally have coined for years 'my East Coast VS. my West Coast'.

IE: I want to shout at the top of my lungs why I'm angry & still semi judgmental but then, we should hug it out and be friends - perhaps paint a picture & dance together.......

But then there is a camp of thinking - that my challenge is more metaphysical then medical.
The recent fact that "Helen" was an attachment - & pulled from my skin (to which, it has just been confirmed via phone on Friday - HELEN owned the hotel BMPS investigated (see pictures/blog below)- as well as her daughter who lived there - was also named HELEN).  


I hadn't had an outbreak of this flaming, after midnight, skin rash until 
I started vividly dreaming about my dead, very angry - boss.

Hear me out. (perhaps writing it all - will help with my condition...)

As you may or may not know, with any physical work/addition to an existing building or foundation - vibrations are shook, energy raised and doors - opened.  
Well, at work, (where dead boss has been lurking) 
*there is a new kitchen being put on &
*a sushi bar was added in the dining room.  
A handful of other issues have also surfaced like 
*broken ice machine(s)
*computer/phone wires cut, 
*roof leaking in women's bathroom
*faulty beer taps
*constant rain (28 days in June
*customer dismay over the new, more expensive menu.  
I'd also like to add that the new head chef, hired to save the place quit as well as three of the line cooks and business well, you can say has been on a major decline.

Oh great - as I type, it's starting to itch.  Here we go.

For the record, New Boss is Dead boss's son who inherited Dead Boss's legacy -
eateries, real estate...blah blah blah.

Still with me?

Last week Dead Boss showed up in my dreams.
The first night - 
I stood behind the bar, New boss stood behind his father's infamous barstool.
Dead boss stood behind him, face red, fist in the air.
Both men, pleading for my attention as I just stood there .....watching.
New boss asked why I wasn't paying attention to him - or looking @ him when he spoke.
Dead boss was making demands of me - to tell communicate his unhappiness - because he knew I could see/hear him.  (I'll leave out the gory details & name calling.....)
I put up both my hands and said
"I refuse to get involved".

When I woke up I had felt like I ran a marathon - 
I had slept eight hours and it felt like I never laid to rest at all.

Two nights later
Same damn dream scenario.
Same local.....same everything.
Again, I put up both my hands - and said "No. I won't do this."

It was 2am.  I jolted awake. 
My left hand on fire, itching - swollen, twice the size of normalcy.
The sun had hardly been out that day. Is this really an allergy? Shit. 
For the next two hours I would deal with the 
physical pain and question what was happening to me.....

And still.....I question - what is happening to me?

The next day I told Dr. Razor & Needle that I had new, sudden, asthmatic symptoms....because I did.  I was having great trouble breathing to which she prescribed an inhaler & nasal spray.

Awesome. My purse is now a drug store.

With the blessing of discernment do I get to choose who I want to help and who I don't?
I can't get involved in family/work related politics especially when all NEW BOSS is known for unfriendly social skills, silver spoon ego and did I mention he does nothing but make fun of me....every time we meet?  
Not that I mind, because to me - he's such a frat boy stuck in a 45 year old's body - acting out every time I see him 'out' (my east coast)- and for me - it's hard not to feel sorry for him (my west coast). 
But at the same time I know how horrible a communicator he is - how volatile he's been - hence head chef quitting (& one of the line chef's who quit was my partner and & a sore subject at present)
why would I ever volunteer conversation with 
BTY saw your dead dad and he- thinks you're a flaming idiot too.......

Good God.

Dead Boss hasn't come back to my dreams since the second time I said no.  I also said out loud that he doesn't have permission to speak to me in such tones. But he's very angry and he's still lurking at the work place.  

So here in lies my communicaton/spiritual/physical/mental/work/reality - 
paranormal-drama. Am I suffering because I refuse to communicate? 

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