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Showing posts from July, 2009

CLUES.....

This past Monday ...I woke up a bit alarmed from a nightmare.  
You know the kind where you're running  & you just can't seem to get anywhere fast enough... so you try leaping off the ground to fly... but that doesn't work cause for some reason it's all in slow motion.... and you're being chased by someone or  something but you don't know what it is - 
well, that's normally how it goes - 
but in this case - I was running a marathon -  which is highly unusual for my character since I follow in my  Father's belief that running is truly a sport made for criminals.........I digress....
While I was pounding pavement in this dream... I happened upon an ambulance, it's doors wide open the crew members pounding on the chest of My Father I  watched as his body lifted, then jolted once more as they tried to revive him  with paddles
I could hear the cry of the heart monitor and I shouted - NO!
Someone I went to high school with ran up behind me,  head band on, large number saf…

So, you think YOUR boss sucks?

Try having a DEAD boss make great demands of you at work...or in my case,  freak on me - in my dreams.
Much to my dismay  Dead Boss is back.   He spoke to me on Sunday morning.  
Of course, He was angry & I - not wanting to deal with this  horrible bully -insisted that he leave me alone.   (please note, my left hand itched for 15 minutes after this event)
Now, for the record & to my great defense - 
there are 2 others at work who share the.... well the  "6th sense" or whatever you want to call it - with me.   While they both can "see" I can, at this point - hear and feel.  
So I decided to first ask the young woman I'll call - Candy - if she had "seen"  any activity or "people" in the restaurant.
Me: Hey Candy - glad to see you back at work (she'd called out sick the past 2 days) ... listen, I was wondering, well, if you have "seen" anyone here lately - well...because, I keep hearing things..... Candy:(Eyes real big & out of charac…

Bittersweet.

Sitting on the lake with an old acquaintance talking about stuff and things.The conversation somehow...always....takes a turn for ...death. He told me a story of his grandfather passing - it was last year this time. He spoke of being in the hospital with him-he was amazed- how he was the only one to receive clear answers from "poppy" as he had a bit of dementia on his way out - at 95 years of age.
Then,  Francis kept repeating in my head. Ask him my name. It's Francis.
I wouldn't do it.....I didn't want to interrupt.
Ask him my name. 
I took a deep breath.  And said.... Sometimes people tell me things.  A lot of the time, for some reason or other - the conversation turns to death.
I'm sorry - Am I freaking you out? he asked.
No.  Just listen.  (Insert another deep breath here).   What was Poppy's name?
Frank.
Well, I hear - Francis - say that you were more like a son to him than a grandson.
What?  How did you know what his name was? His name was Francis - people called …

As you transcend, so shall your foundation shake

as in the law of opposites.....or as Bible hurling Christians will have it  the "devil" will test you as you seek to be closer to God.
I get it.
This is what the experience of my"illness" is.  And since my last entry, I have addressed whatever it is that is making me not perform 100%  to my healthy abilities right now; demanding that it leave. I burnt sage, took a shower and all the while repeated,  "you have no permission to make a home within my body. i am a healthy, vibrant woman."
Since doing so (Sunday) I've also weaned myself off medication  and have felt better than I have in weeks.
It is the power of positive suggestion people and I am proof that it works.   Now don't misread me, I'm not saying I miraculously cured whatever Thyroid thing I may be encountering but what I am saying is I truly recognize this event as a test -  while I declared becoming a voice, vessel & channel for the universe through Metaphysiques - my body was/is subject to &q…

Sleep to Dream

The past few weeks have been a whirlwind of Dermatologist visits &  begrudgingly accepting needles, razors &  burns in my arm then shelling out lots of cash for prescripts which I'm not sure are helping.
Because as days go on... I feel just....AWFUL.

And it seems, that with all the  blood extracted from me,  that the findings are alerting  my razor & needle  happy Doc that I'm Allergic To The Sun.
(I know, insert Vampire jokes here).
I work OUTSIDE ...for the past 3 summers. How did this suddenly happen?

The most recent round of blood samples suggests my Thyroid is off.   Meaning I have to see a different Doctor for more tests/needles, blood stuffs. BUT, in studying the mind/body/emotional connection to humans and disease - this seems to be a communication issue - an aggressive perfectionist vs. peacekeeper  - to sum it up what I personally have coined for years 'my East Coast VS. my West Coast'.
IE: I want to shout at the top of my lungs why I'm angry & still semi j…