Sunday, June 28, 2009


in 06-07, I embarked on an amazing
program called 

'Metaphysiques is a coaching program that takes a metaphysical approach to exercise.  By blending your own unique take on spirituality with physical exercise, you can achieve a level of fitness that has escaped you until now.'

Connecting my higher power to my physical body WHILE I worked out was the best thing I had ever done in my life.  
The workouts were full of intention and gratitude instead of begrudging reps and daydreaming to pass the time.

For once, I had clarity.  Sweet, sweaty clarity.  My body was my moving temple.

However, I recently had what Oprah calls, an "AHA! Moment."  
- now, that I am in "mommy-physique" and in the thick of it with Weight Watchers (down 17lbs!!)
it would be most appropriate to reconnect with the same juice that got my blood flowing. 


So, I have committed to not only immersing myself in the program once again 
but to also allowing spirit to guide me to becoming the first official instructor of 
Metaphysique - outside of California - or ever.
I will journal my entire experience to compile an easy how to manual to inspire the masses.

I look forward to developing a language that is universal to connect people & their bodies to their higher power, giving them true empowerment and health.

So far I've lost 1.5lbs since setting my intention last week.  
I've also begun Bellydancing as a way to raise energy and my stakes in this claim.
I LOVE where this is going.

If you are interested in learning more about Metaphysique, click HERE.
Much love, 

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Walk in...

Over the past two weeks, 
I've been plagued with an unknown "sick".

First, a gross skin disease that looks like my nubs could fall off,
a harsh tightness in my chest for no reason (because really, I'm not stressed) 
and an itchy unexplainable rash on my chest & arms with an occasional fever.  

My spiritual mentor, Arlene, 
mentioned that when she sent me healing she was told that my illness had been from "energy". Confused, I responded that I hadn't been on an investigation with the group in quite some time.

When my antibiotics ran out I didn't see a great change in my symptoms.
In fact, I started to notice other things that were strange.
My face - didn't look the same at times, I gazed in the mirror and couldn't figure out what it was that was different.
My hair - frizzed out beyond anything I've ever experienced so I chalked it up to the weather.
But then, there were two days were I was uncontrollably sad. 
I felt like a teenager about to get her first period.  I couldn't put what I was feeling in words.

Then last evening, I went to my spiritual mentors house once again. 
While we were in session my arms flared up red and began to itch as to bring attention to my unknown state of discomfort.
I politely interrupted our conversation and mentioned that I thought the "energy" she could be speaking of was leaking out of my computer. When I was typing last week, I noticed that my fingers began to burn.  I also mentioned that right after I made the discovery of "faces" in the photos from one of our investigations was when this unknown illness started to unravel. 

Arlene immediately asked if we could stop what we were doing to try healing.
Of course I agreed.

I closed my eyes and put out my hands as instructed.
She noted that she could feel extreme heat coming from me.  
After a while, she asked me what I was feeling.
I told her that it was odd, but I could hear a woman screaming.

Then I opened my eyes and said
"it's the woman from the hotel. she's upset that I didn't help her."

Arlene asked "do you want to go there?"
I was confused "What?"
But before I could mutter another word, 
the wise crone rubbed her hands together, leaned in toward me and started yelling.
"It's time for you to go." She repeated over and over.
"I said, she's afraid of what she's done. She killed her baby."
"You are forgiven. I know you're a Catholic, but you've been absolved.  You're baby is waiting for you. Do you want your baby? Do you want your baby?"
"Michelle, what are you feeling where are you? I said, sitting in the kitchen at the hotel. It's sunny. I can hear birds.  I'm not afraid."

Her tone became more harsh then. "Do you want your baby?" She repeated.
Then as if she was speaking to someone else, she said "Yes, go ahead. I need your help."
Just then I felt a huge weight lifted from my chest.
"She's gone. She literally poured out of your skin! Her name was Helen!"
I wanted to cry but I couldn't. I sat there in complete amazement.
This whole time, I wasn't able to put into words the "different" I was feeling.
"Miriam, my spirit guide came to help you. She stood behind you and pushed Helen out."

I was flabbergasted. 

"We have to work on protecting you better. 
You have to delete those pictures on your computer 
and cleanse your computer at once."

Of course it's the first thing I did when I came home.  
The rest of the evening I remained in disbelief that I had my first "Walk in".  
I was so lethargic.  As if I had ran 2 miles. (Yes, two is a lot for me....)
Walk ins....
not something I want to bring into my life - 
ever again.


Thursday, June 4, 2009

My First

Tonight is a momentous occasion.
Not because I only had three customers at the cloudy, cold, bar....
but because when I went to pick up my daughter 
(& my mail), I was not just greeted with my Amex bill, but also the new Rolling Stone and a silvery SASE 
I sent out two weeks earlier....

which meant...


I received 
my very first 
rejection letter.

Now that...that's over!


It wasn't a letters so much as it was a mass produced 
copy of an (unsigned) rejection notice 
printed on a 4x6" piece of yellow paper 
that was cut most likely by an intern.

Thank you Meredith Bernstein, for being my first 
(current status of the industry or not).
I mean it.

When one door closes, another opens.  
In another envelope sat invitations for family and friends 
for an art show I will be part of next weekend.  
Here's to keeping chins up.


In 2008, I had postpartum depression. It was so severe that I had impending thoughts of doom, daily. "What if I left the stove on an...